Crying at funerals. The last one I was at, sure I cried, and I wanted to cry, and I wasn't embarassed to cry. But at the same time, your crying is basically a physical manifest of your sadness, and your sadness *should* be related to how much you were affected by the death, and thus related to how close you were to the person. For this reason, I almost feel like there's an unwritten hierarchy of closeness to the deceased, and generally speaking, you don't supercede your your level of closeness to the deceased in your mourning.

It sounds ridiculous, but its like comparing sadness levels or something, and it comes down to your worthiness to be as sad as you are; look at it this way- if your uncle died, there's probably at least a few other cousins essentially on the same plane of relation to him as you. So if he has kids, its almost RUDE for you to be so sad, that you're really drawing attention to yourself as being more affected by this than your other cousins and by his own children! People will look at you, whisper, wonder "what's his problem, it wasn't HIS dad", as if you're really being out of line for being so sad. Its weird because, who can say how sad you're allowed to be? But at the same I think its kind of true, this is really out there.....