Where exactly is the morsel of your brain that reminds you of things, and how does it work? how do you realize you were gonna say something even though you dont know what? how does it suddenly come to you that you had to do something? where is this info stored? is somehow that long-term memory transferred into a short-term memory that triggers you cyclically? is there a little chemical floating around somewhere that periodically bumps into things and causes a reaction, when you go OH YEAH i was gonna say something... the concept is so abstract, and how is it that you remember it even though you can't REMEMBER it? you have no idea what it was you were going to say, only that it was *something*...

Dostoevsky originated the idea of the Magnanimous Man. At the risk of attempting to intepret (as well as correctly remember) Crime and Punishment, I'd venture to say that the Magnanimous Man is something I might want to be. I always sort of liked the idea when I came across it originally in high school. Oops maybe it was Aristotle: "The magnanimous person thinks himself worthy of great things and is really worthy of them."

This is a twofold acheivement then- first, to be of the mind that I really am worthy of these great things; to truly believe that. Second, to actually put myself in a place as a person that I AM worthy of them. The only question is which to pursue first, or which do I need to pursue more? Well in private I might admit that a good part of me already knows I am worthy of these things. But getting myself to actually BE is quite something else altogether.

I could swear though that there was more to Dostoevsky's Magnanimous Man theory somewhere in Crime and Punishment but I can't seem to find it and I'm currently quite over it...

I greatly enjoy the following analogy formula- "Life is like [completely random thing] because [one aspect of random thing} and [another aspect, totally unrelated to life]. The funny thing is, you pick anything in the room or outside or on your mind, any inanimate object, and analogize it to life. Pick a couple abstract qualities of this random thing, and in a way, life actually *is* like that :) For example-

"Life is like a shoe. It starts out fresh and new, no experience or contact with the world. Then you wear it day in and day out, become comfortable in it, until finally its worn out and ready to be discarded, but its fulfilled its purpose. In that shoe though you can still see the essence of the original and will always remember the memories forged while wearing it."

See I just made that up on the spot.

"Life is like my ring- shiny, round, and sits on my finger through thick and thin."

Okay so that one wasn't so good. But it makes you go "huh?" So its funny.

"Life is like my computer. Sometimes its quiet, sometimes its noisy, after it runs awhile it gets warm, and I love it with all my heart."

That one was kinda humorous.

Here's something to think about- as the seasons change, most importantly during fall and spring, and the days get shorter and then longer again, do the days get shorter and longer linearly, or because of the ellipse in earth's orbit, do they get suddenly shorter in the fall for a time and then suddenly longer again in the spring? Doesn't it seem that way? Wait until it gets spring again and one day you walk outside and can't believe its still light so late...you'll see...

Its the era of cutting and pasting, remixing, according to Wired Magazine. The band Gorillaz was founded on the principles of sampling, borrowing, and remixing. Its highly indicative of the 21st century sensibility- Outkast's song Miss jackson is not maybe five years old, and already Kanye is referencing it. Movies are being remade and spoofed more than ever, and Not Another Teenage Movie basically is a conglomeration of the previous decade's popular teen movies. This mindset is not a fad either, its here to stay. Its the foundation of creativity and ingenuity, which is driving 21st century businesses to new heights- borrowing, referencing, cutting and pasting; whether it comes to product design, technology, or advertising. I, the artist-musician-psychologist with interests in computers, math, science, and business, plan to fit right in. Go strong or go home.

Now don't steal my idea, or I will END your life. But I wanna write a screenplay, a sort of soul-searching life-path-determining girl-finding movie, with the quality and depth of Garden State, and the poignant soundtrack as well. But I want a more direct interaction between the soundtrack and the story- so many songs are about such issues, yearning striving hurting questioning. The song snippets could be a progression of story, of life-state, as the hero (most assuredly *me*) seeks the answers to these questions. The movie for example could open with "Where the Streets Have No Name" or "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For". Yes I love U2. Those songs are 1 and 2 on one of the top ten albums of all time. I digress.

Deeper yet, the hero could actually be listening to these songs, as not only a figurative but also a literal soundtrack for his life- not just something the audience hears, overlaid on top of scenes, but something the main character actually listens to and the audience hears, and he seeks out the answers to the questions these songs are asking, and as his journey progresses, he moves on from song to song or band to band.

Imagine the soundtrack. We're talking clips from possibly a hundred songs- it would be the most dense soundtrack ever created, practically flowing from one song to the next the entire movie, highlighting both classic hits and unknown gems alike, a virtual catalog of the most profound soul-searching songs from the present and past alike.

DON'T steal my idea.

At this point in my life, I *may* have one or two memories from my early childhood, maybe one going as far back as five years old or so. Before probably 2 or 3 its virtually impossible for a child to physically encode any long-term memories, and those that are encoded quickly fade. But if you ask any 2-3 year old, they'd remember yesterday when they went to grandma's or played at the playground. What if a specific memory was "quizzed" from a child each day for a number of years, encouraging the child to remember it and constantly reaffirming it in their long-term memory? Would it be possible then to cement that memory fiercely from their toddler years, or would the daily process or remembering and revisiting it slowly morph the memory into something entirely unrecognizable and completely deviant from the facts of the original experience?