Me actually finding "the one" is becoming less and less of a certainty. My odds of meeting someone period has greatly reduced since college. My odds of meeting someone similar to me also greatly reduced. My odds of meeting someone similar to me who is also single, VASTly reduced. The question arising whether I will live out my life feeling unfulfilled by hanging on to the unattained goal so many factors of which are out of my control. I think so-called pick-up artists are just attempting to control the chaos, to bring reason and certainty to the greatest of all mysteries, the mind of a female.

My real worry is at this point moreso that I will meet the right person and screw it up somehow, that it will be here and I will let i slip by, ruin the moment, and watch it drift away in time helplessly...that is if I haven't already met her and screwed it up somehow.

Its at least possible that the best course of action is to no longer hold on to the cliche and the perhaps unrealistic dream that I like everyone else WILL get lucky enough to meet an amazing enough person to be completely amazed by me, and to deal with me. Its worth considering that conceding alternate futures is the best course of action, to help me get over it and come to a sensible mind-set. Odd but if I could truly free myself of that maybe I would be happier than I ever thought I could be! And at the same time that very action and state of mind could be the very thing that would cement my singleness for life...or else put me in just the place I need to be to meet the right person.

The longer I live life as a single person and become completely self-sufficient and okay with and used to that, the harder it may be to ever consider or be able to embrace the possibility of marriage...