am i trying too hard to be profound and interesting? am i actually not at all? sometimes i think i can fool people, sometimes i think im fooling myself, sometimes i dont think im fooling myself and that its just true, that im smart and have interesting things to say. which is it really? a combination of all three at different times...? i really dont know. im not sure what the truth is, what reality is, how im perceived from the outside. its the ultimate unachievable existential goal to be able to separate yourself not only descartian mind from body but literally out of body, to be able to see yourself as the rest of the world does, see yourself for who and what you are and what you're really like- how you really come off, what people really think of you, how you really appear, act, respond, treat others. What image you project, what aura you carry, what persona you present.