Isnt it always the catch-22? Wanting to get all your stuff done so you have nothing to do but then...you have nothing to do. That for which you strive is completely undesirable once it is actually acheived, but the striving for it keeps you going and gives you a goal, though it really is providing you with stress and a monkey on your back, which in reality you dont even want to get off! Its a constant subconscious battle to clear your plate, but once you do, you have nothing to eat when you're hungry. You don't even realize this except very seldomly when you actually finish everything you have to do. Its like kids during summer vacation- all those months wishing they didnt have school so they could play endless hours of video games, only to realize that one week into vacation they're totally bored...